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Direct qns: Rosetjl@Hotmail.com
- SOMETIMES I HATE MY LIFE -
D: Hahaha okay next topic
P: ok lets talk about me, what do you like about me
D:Hmmmm... You are funny
*long pause*
P:oh no, i guess thats about it
D:You are a nice guy too Paul! Haha
P:nice guys always lose scum get the pretty girls i need to learn to be scum!
D:Huh no la!!!! DONT BE SILLY
P: hahaha yala yala
D: Paul, I really like D**! And today, I brought him to meet my mom. We were running errands the whole day and he wanted to play rockband and see dotdot today so he came by. and dotdot surprisingly loves him. Which is weird because dotdot barks at people he doesnt know. Of course all these doesnt change the fact that he has a girlf. But I guess I am willing to wait.
P: okay thanks for telling me but how do you think i feel when i know about all these things it feels really wierd as well, to be honest
D: Why weird? i mean I dnt think you really do like me right?
P: well if i said i did then things between us would be really awkward!
D:No Why would it be/
P:i am still totally clueless about how i am going to un-single myself like lets say making that video because i tend to do crazy things more than other people does that make it less special? because im always funny or always say nice things, do i sound like i dont mean them? its like, my best is never enough and sometimes it sucks
D: No, I appreciated your video Paul! I mean of course if I didnt have D** maybe, just maybe I'd consider. But I have him so maybe thats why I like him so much, it scares me sometimes
*Long pause*
P:j** says you curse at him, to her
D:Well sometimes when I get overly jealous over him and his girlf Because I know he likes me too but he is too pussy to do anything about it It frustrates me so much because I of all people hate playing the guessing gam I hate having to guess whats constantly in his mind.
-
Then i went ahead to say what i felt, though it was bold and foolish like her words are. And i did my famous copy, edit & paste magic with words and metaphors etc. It sounded good in my mind and i felt it apt to blurt out at the time. sarcasm truly is my gift.
-
P:well.. thats where we are different then! i curse at d** too! and myself when i get overly jealous over him and you because i know you like him, and im too pussy to say anythin about it it frustrates me so much because i dont have to play the guessing game, i knew all along i was never part of the game at all. and i hate knowing he is constantly in your mind
*short pause*
D:I'm sorry Paul But I really do like him. Very much. Especially after today. He showed me why he is everything I wanted. But I have a feeling I am at the losing end But whatevr, i've taken the plunge. Because I really like him and I know he is everything that I want in a partner. His looks is a major bonus Dont know when I am going to tell him I like him but haiya
P:*shrugs*
* Short pause * and then....
[ (i) D appears to be offline. Messages you send will be delivered when they sign in. E-mail this contact instead x ]
Paul said (1:05 AM): sian
-
Dear Isa, This concludes my eventful night. I missed my friend's birthday chalet stayover, almost got into trouble in camp because i was neglectful, took the hour long trainride home from all the way on the other side of the island alone and only reached home at 11pm, had a double cheeseburger my sister bought for my supper, and felt a very human chill go up my spine.
-
Truly the warm annointing that flows from me is for others to be blessed with, not for myself.
For with same quirks & funny actions i refresh my buddies in camp with after a long tiring duty, i only manage to make myself smile.
never laugh.
The thoughtfulness and willingness to walk an extra mile(that exceeds my very high forehead), applies to everyone but me, i dont fret about myself. not because i am trusting a higher power that removes the worries, buts and what ifs... but because sometimes i just forget to care.
My biggest enemy is loneliness, because contrary to the way we are taught that fights are fought...
my strength is what makes it more obvious that i am losing.
Goodnight. tomorrow has to be a better day unless you want to break me again.
-
PS: hello readers you know i am feeling messed up when there is a messy wordy post like this. But that is all there is to me at the moment, please forgive. And i wouldn't mind your thoughts about my boy-girl-relationship situation!